I used to enjoy, and still do, watching shows such as Living Single, Girlfriends, and A Different World. These shows shared a commonality of healthy, and sometimes not so healthy, interpersonal relationships that helped me understand the value of honesty, loyalty, and unconditional love in friendships. I admired the friendship between Max and Khadijah, questioned the friendship Joan and Toni shared, and enjoyed seeing how Whitley, Kim, and Freddie's friendship evolved from underclassmen to adulthood. One thing I learned from these three shows was it matters who you are connected to.
We were created for community. This is a part of our very nature from birth as we bond with parents, siblings, and caretakers, developing relationships that continue forming throughout our lives. Because connection is so innate into our behavior, it makes sense that relationships influence our well-being. Connections are as important to physical and mental health as exercise and healthy eating. Research has shown that healthy, strong social connections can significantly improve both mental and physical health, to the point where the positive effects of social contact can even surpass the negative impacts of other risk factors (i.e. stress, anxiety, depression, poor immunity, infirmities) potentially leading to a longer life expectancy.
Like any relationship, work is necessary in order for healthy friendships to prosper. In this week's journal exercise we are going to focus on how to get more from your connections to cultivate stronger, more genuine, supportive friendships and the interactions that build them.
Know your values and what you need from your relationships. This will help you determine which connections are worth your time and focus.
Be proactive. Forming authentic connections with others (no matter the relationship type) often takes time and consistency.
Reflect on your interactions. Which feel most authentic, generate positive emotions, and are most fulfilling? Engage in those types of interactions more often.
Be authentic and honest in every interaction. Understand that you don’t always have to be ‘on’ or appear a certain way. Authenticity is the key to genuine connection.
Recognize that everyone has different connectivity needs. If a relationship never grows beyond ‘acquaintance level’ or just isn’t working, it’s okay. Don’t force it.
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